what are you waiting for?

Life is not a TV show
You can’t go back and start again
Can’t rewind it at the end

I know the time has come and on you go
There’s no klaxon
There’s no starting gun
No repeat, no rerun

What are you waiting for?

What are you waiting for, apollo junction

I wager most of us have that something (or several somethings) that we’ve been wanting to do for a while that we’ve held back on for whatever reason.

I need to do X first.

I’m not Y enough.

I don’t have time.

I don’t know how.

It’s not going to work out anyway.

Then there’s the things that we’ve been grinding away at for ages, and still feel like we’re getting nowhere fast. Who has the energy to constantly revive creativity, ambition, and hope when they are so quickly eroded by the circumstances of life?

The years flash by, ever increasing in speed, while disappointments pile up and regrets mount. Opportunities wasted. Chances not taken out of fear. Chances taken in faith misplaced. Faulty decisions that seem so much clearer with the benefit of hindsight.

Sometimes I really have found myself wishing I could go back to certain points in time and do things differently. Now, at least, the main thing I would change is to be kinder to myself and truer to my own desires, rather than worrying so much about what I thought others expected of me.

One of my own big somethings is this. Writing. Expressing myself, for myself, first and foremost. Just for the sake of doing it, even if it never amounts to anything. Just because it’s good for my soul.

So, what have I been waiting for?

Well, as it turns out, at least in part, Apollo Junction.

I mean, yeah, the reality is there’s a bigger picture of all the self-love and healing work I’ve been doing over the last couple of years, much musical medicine, and the unconditional support of a small but mighty community that has been essential. I certainly don’t discount any of that.

But the fact remains that what this “little band from Leeds” puts out into the world has been a vital catalyst in a recent shift that has happened in my life. I’ve begun to find my way back to myself, including aspects and ambitions I used to think I had to suppress or do away with entirely.

There are themes – like the one in the excerpt included above – that are omnipresent across their discography. These resonate deeply, uplift, and gently insist in the possibilities that lie ahead. You can hear it in the repeated refrain from their latest single, Endings: “Give it all you’ve got for tomorrow.”

Plus, it’s quite literally some things Matt and Sam shared with me when I met them at the Isle of Wight festival last month that finally pushed me to move from thinking about doing this to just finally f*&%ing doing it.

The more singles I’ve heard from the forthcoming album, the less it feels like a coincidence that I found them when I did. I need their music for this season of healing and, especially, for what follows. It’s one of those beautiful little synchronicities of life that as they confidently re-assert “Here We Are”, with unprecedented promise looming ahead that I find myself in a very similar place.

Here I am!